Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
