I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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