I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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