you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
