i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
