I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
