i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
