I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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