i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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