I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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