Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Your cock deserves a montage
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
