Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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