Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
