I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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