My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
