HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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