I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
