I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
