Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
