found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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