You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
