we're chasing vodka with high fives
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
