i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
