My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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