Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I could fuck to npr.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
