lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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