This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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