I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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