How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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