There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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