people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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