we have officially lost it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
