hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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