You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
