I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
