check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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