dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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