doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
