My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
