By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
