I faked an abortion last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
3pm strippers are depressing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
