She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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