Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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