Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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