i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
