Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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