Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
