"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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