He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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