Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
