I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
