please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
