So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
