rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
