I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
