u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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