Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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