My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
