I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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