I CAN MOONWALK!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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