By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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