ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Randomize
