I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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