The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
