shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I skipped work to stalk him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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