i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
